After a week of getting my 3 and 4 year-old adjusted to their new pre-school I was ready for some CTFO time. That’s Chill The Fudge Out Time.
I am also doing this to combat my anxiety which I have been sharing.
I strolled into my new place and snapped a picture of the Buddhist sign that said, welcome all and “Are you overwhelmed, try Mindfulness?” I smiled at the monks sitting on the porch.
Then I realized the door was locked and a nice man explained there was no class like that there at that time.
So immediately I’m all “Fudge, fudge, fudge,” running and sweating back to my car trying to look up where I’m really supposed to go and reminded myself just because a sign I drive past that says mediation here doesn’t mean that’s where I take mediation.
Psychology Today defines Mindfulness as:
Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.
In today’s world I desperately want more times where I feel present. I grew up in a small summer cabin where we didn’t even have TV. On purpose people. No computer. We just said, sometimes in akward silence and once we got past that we talked or played cards.
I arrived at the correct spot and another frazzled mom was having a similar experience, she giggled and said “I’m already messing this up.”
We got there and a group of about 20 was sitting in chairs in a circle.
A beautiful woman, who’s clothes I wanted sat on some cushions and was clearly our guide.
She immediately said let me show you how simple this can be and guided us through some relaxation stuff for 10 minutes and I felt good.
She explained things to us, then we talked to our neighbor and then introduced ourselves to everyone. There were two other moms from my kids’ school there.
The second time she guided us through something I couldn’t get comfortable. I squirmed.
Our homework was to listen to her meditations for 15 minutes every day this week. I did it on Saturday as my kids screamed up and down the hallway.
I couldn’t get it in on Sunday and today I did it at noon and laid down and fell asleep 3 minutes into it.
I do know a few times when I’m feeling anxious lately I try to remind myself of things she said, such as you are breathing and that’s enough.
Turns out my son is taking Mindfulness at school. He’s in 2nd grade.
I asked him on the way home, what do you do?
“I close my eyes and sit quietly for 20 minutes,” he said,
What do you think about? I asked.
“I’m just thankful it’s free time and I’m not doing any work,” honest answer.
Made me laugh.
Honestly, I’m happy when I do it because I’m not doing any work and that’s a good thing.
I’m enjoying it and looking forward to incorporating it into my life.