This week I returned from Chicago and just saturated myself in my kids.
I gave my nanny the week off.
Finally, my two oldest are in school and I had some alone time with my 2 year-old.
I ignored my iPhone.
I didn’t text people back right away.
I felt more relaxed then I have in a long time.
Expressing Motherhood was created to fulfill a desire to be creative. To connect myself to part of my happiest me.
I realize I’m in a unique position in that I don’t have to provide an extra income for my family and as long as we make our money back we are all good. My heart can sing and be full.
But it’s been interesting.
Purposefully holding myself back from doing too many things with the show. Expanding it, making a book, etc. yada, yada, yada.
I didn’t even pursue social media in the beginning. I was anti-iPhone. We were anti only pursuing top writers, bloggers an actors. We just wanted the mom who wanted out, if only for a few nights.
I’ve always been a bit alternative and as both my parents comment, I’ve always made things a bit harder for myself.
But I like the way the show has played out.
Never selling out, anything other then our seats that is has felt good.
I have to remind myself this sometimes, when I grow a bit angry at myself for not doing a bit more. But then I hold my youngest and wonder when she become so lanky.
I have heard many people over the years ask Jessica and myself, why aren’t you doing this and that and that? And we answer, we know, we know we could. But we have chosen to do this show at our speed.
And as my husband has told me and reminds me kindly from time to time, I’m incredibly lucky to be so fulfilled with something so pure.
So, tonight, I will try to be once again kind to myself and remind myself it’s OK to charge ahead at my own, somewhat alternative speed.
I think it’s important too for all creative moms to realize it’s OK to walk away from our projects for awhile.
Or let them unfold how and when we want, if we are in that position.
