I just put my youngest to bed.

I have approximately 25 minutes until my husband pulls into the driveway with my two older boys.


The house is quiet.

I just had a really nice Labor Day weekend. I didn’t go anywhere. I spent it with my youngest, at home, she’s just turned 2. We did nothing glamorous yet I feel really relaxed.

The house was so easy to keep clean.

The noise level was much, much quieter then usual.

As she quietly sat eating her dinner and I was cleaning the dishes I thought what can I change to make this more of a norm?

Then I called my mom and I asked her that question and she said, you can’t do anything about it, you have three kids. Even if you do XYZ you will still have a lot on your plate.

My shrink told me that too a few months ago too.

I am having such a hard time letting go of the fact that I live in chaos. And yes, I know that the world is chaotic so maybe I should just say I’m having a hard time living in such a loud house.

And no matter how much spinning, writing, one on one time, counseling, reading, listening to music, laughing with friends, I am out of my comfort zone.

I did enjoy this weekend though and I do look forward to scooping up my 3 year-0ld who screamed at me how much he loved me over the phone every time we talked.

I also can’t wait to get insight into the trip from my 7 year-old and hug his impossibly thin and tall body.

Maybe this is just my version of a vacation?


Some people fly to Hawaii, I just need a quiet house and a little less noise to feel ready to go at it all again.