This is a sponsored post. However, all thought and opinions are my own.
Imagine the irony of sitting in your dentist chair at 7AM about to be fitted for Invisalign and receiving an email inviting you to an Invisalign party at BlogHer.
I went to see my dentist to talk to her about my teeth which had started to move because I hadn’t been wearing my retainer. Because my dog ate it. And the one before that.
I was too embarrassed to go back and figured oh hell. So I let a few years go by and guess what, my teeth moved. Ta-da, they do that.
I also happen to be a big time night grinder, it’s in the genes.
I asked my dentist for a number to an orthodontist but she explained how she was using Invisalign now. I learned that she could fix my teeth in just 5 trays! According to Invisalign:
Setting it Straight: Invisalign effectively treats a wide variety of orthodontic issues including severe bite issues. From underbite to crossbite, deepbite to overbite and overly crowded to widely spaced, advancements to Invisalign’s patented technology continues to increase the complexity of issues that can be treated.
Fortunately I’m all good with my little over bite and I just needed some teeth moved.
I was fitted for my Invisalign and then waited for my dentist to call me back in.
She did and I was all set with my new Invisalign. I even opted to have a few do-hickies put on my teeth to speed the process up. I put on the Invisalign and honestly it does not hurt. It’s a little uncomfortable the first night but NOTHING compared to childbirth.
I have been worried about losing my Invisalign but according to Invisalign:
Setting it Straight: We know kids lose things, even their aligners! That’s why you get up to six FREE replacement aligners with Invisalign Teen.
Now they did say kids so I’m not sure about adults. But lucky for me my dog is older now and I’m keeping them up high when I take them off.
I’m on my 3rd round of trays and my teeth are a shifting.
Here I am wearing them, see you can’t see them. That is my dog.
If he tries to eat my face while I’m wearing them asleep that’s a whole other story.
Anyways, when I’m done I will wear a Vivera retainer from them. So as to keep my teeth in place and protect my gums and teeth from the nightly grind.
Studies show that without retainers straight teeth can gradually shift back towards their initial position. This is a common occurrence with all orthodontic treatment including braces, but is one that can easily be overcome. Ask your doctor. about Vivera retainers from the makers of Invisalign.
I honestly had never even thought of Invisalign for teenagers. I just thought wearing train tracks were a right of passage but teens can do this as well.
Here is the link to the info graphic! And it turns out Invisalign Teen costs about the same as braces.
So now I’m thinking maybe my kiddos will use these once they get to that age.
So here are my thoughts on BlogHer and how they relate to Expressing Motherhood.
I went to socialize.
I have never had intentions of monetizing ExMo. I didn’t go to listen to the break out sessions.
I was never a great student, especially once my anxiety kicked in during high school. I always sat by a window or the door so I could exit if I needed to.
I never cared about making money off this show.
Well, that’s not true. I did for one year. After my year of trying and failing I pitched it to multiple conferences, “The Year I ho’ed Myself Out.” Basically saying I played the game, posting regularly, tweeting, etc. Nothing came of it.
Except a call at the end of the year when literally I sat at my desk almost weeping due to my son’s whooping cough (being treated) failed plans to make it to a conference I wanted to attend and also just feeling like why the fudge can’t I make money off of something that’s freaking cool and was fresh.
And more then that.
Why do I care?
Then Maria Shriver’s people emailed me and said she wanted to interview myself and Jessica tomorrow at my house and suddenly I felt good. Validated.
Within minutes of giving up on the ho’ing I got that email. I have never been one to make things easy on myself or go the normal route.
I started this show for regular people, not celebrities, not published authors. Ironically I knew I had to prove myself. I am fucking blonde for God’s sake. Well processed. And I have a successful husband. So surely he did this all for me.
I shunned social media.
I disliked and did not own an iPhone.
I shut down my personal blog in ’08.
I did the opposite I guess of what most would have done but my dad says I have done that since birth.
I have poured my heart into this show and honestly going to BlogHer I did enjoy some speakers, I loved meeting new people and I especially loved hanging with ExMo alum Michelle and Elizabeth. These people and this form of art fills my soul.
So I had to leave a room sometimes due to anxiety and also my own voice that said, “Don’t Drink The Kool-Aid.”
Meaning, there is never one path.
And the end result, if it doesn’t end in dinero, is more then OK.
They talked a lot about how blogging has changed how it will continue to change.
Is it relevant?
I don’t know exactly what was said but I know stories especially shared in the intimacy of a theatre will continue on and more importantly fulfill me.
And I don’t need to feel overwhelmed by hits, etc.
I will go to other conferences, I love the days of laughter and debauchery with fellow artistic women. Thought provoking fragments I wrestle with and cry over.
BlogHer has left me a very tired mom on this Monday.
And I thank the women who produced it for all it has conjured up.
This morning my husband brought my daughter into our bed around 5:45AM hoping for a little bit more sleep.
Her big eyes were staring right back at me and her cute smile right underneath it.
No more sleep but some precious cuddling.
I have two older sons and am very cognitive of raising her to not really care what she looks like, but rather, focus inward.
I kissed her and the boys and then headed out the door. To get waxed and my nails polished before heading to BlogHer. I had already made a promise to myself, you will not Instagram your nails for BlogHer. That’s so 2009. You have moved beyond.
Then I also thought, as I drove, why the hell did I obsess over the color of nail polish I would shake Maria Shriver’s hand with when I found out last May she’d be at my house the next day at 10AM.
And had I ever remembered what color nail polish a woman had worn?
I am a woman who used to wear flip flops and tennis shoes out. Does vanity make me stupid? Yet, somehow as I age and especially after having 4 pregnancies I realize I like my body healthy and yes, sexy, however that is I deem it.
First I headed to spin class. In my Lululemon pants.
Before you judge me, oh judge me whatever. I needed to get there and help alleviate my anxiety. It has grown tremendous the last month.
I wore my Expressing Motherhood shirt and the teacher said, you came here with an intention, what was it? For me it was to get my heart rate up. I have an SVT and I need to keep my heart healthy. I looked at my reflection and looked at the heart my friend has in part of the design.
I wanted to get off the bike a hundred times. But I stayed. Sweaty, I left feeling good. Off to the nail salon.
It’s a salon I haven’t been to in years. I asked if I could get a bikini wax.
A woman said yes, she had time for me.
OK, I promised no Instagrams of my nails but I’m headed into bikini waxing, stay with.
“You want regular or Brazilian?” She said in a heavy accent.
“Oh, well, oh geez, just regular…” that’s when she started taking over.
“Let me see. You will be so happy Brazilian is no big deal,” she said.
“Oh, well, I’m a mom of 3 so this is pretty no important, you know, I’m just busy,” I started rambling. Half apologizing and half just doing what I do.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“A conference, for women/mom bloggers. Maybe I’ll go swimming?” I made a funny face. Then she really took over.
“You have three kids,” this is where I thought she would say, you need to have time to yourself instead she said, “Men get bored, they go out and start looking around. Men are bastards anyways.” Then there is pain and holy smokes she has started what I am assuming is a Brazilian plan.
“Holy smokes,” I laugh and cringe as I am sweating. But she is so utterly entertaining me that I let her continue on.
“You have had babies, you can do this,” she says. “Men go out into the world and now they see the ladies who look like this and this is what they want.” I giggle, inwardly as I think of my shy husband who works from home walking around LA seeing this.
“Men are dogs,” she says right before a part I’m utterly terrified of happening happens. Then she throws me a curve ball, “I had only one man, can you believe that?”
“Oh, wow, how long?” I politely say, sweat building on my forehead.
“40 years,” she says.
“How did he treat you?” I asked.
“Very good. Like a princess. That is why I don’t want to date. I got spoiled. Plus after a while, sex is like a chore for a woman.” I think of Mommy Tonk and how much material she is giving me.
“Did you divorce?” I asked.
“No, he died, 10 years ago. He was volunteering over in Iraq as a doctor and his camp was blown up.” Suddenly I felt no more pain.
She had me captured.
“Turn over,” she said.
“I’m so sorry to hear about that. Did you have kids?” I asked
“Yes, she said, I had them very close together, two sets of twins 14 months apart,” but the way she phrased it I didn’t want to ask more questions. I had a feeling something painful and much more raw would come up and I didn’t want to probe.
“Look, look how good you look,” she said as she handed me a hand mirror. I looked thinking, holy shit, this woman is awesome and being a woman is hilarious and wow, just what happened.
“See you did it,” she said.
I thanked her and tipped her big.
Then I got my nails done and she did the toes of a fellow older woman whom obviously was a regular.
This time the woman who waxed me listened to the woman talk about her family and her upcoming travels.
At one point the waxer said “Life is sad, what can we do,” when they were talking about the clients ailing mother in law.
The way the two women hugged each other after the pedicure ended made my heart warm.
Two women in bodies they probably never thought they’d have. Aging bodies, essentially.
The waxer caught my eye and smiled. I left the salon and on my drive home I passed a model in Griffith Park, taking off her dress and stood without any modesty in her underwear and bra until the other dress was handed to her.
She was young and perfect.
I didn’t really envy her. I wondered how she would stand up against the test of time. I wonder this a lot lately. And more I think of it internally. Because man it’s hard. You have to become so brave to age. All of the things you see happening to your loved ones and to find out new ailments about your body which can be sometimes, very scary.
I adore older women who are happy.
I had one more stop on my day.
To my dermatologist office to get some saline put into some spider veins I suddenly have.
Despite my day of “beauty” what I care about and fear about of course is my family. For health.
These minor distractions, such as my nails, waxing and fighting the inevitable aging of my body are just things I do to make me feel good.
It doesn’t mean any depth is lost.
Oh, I forgot to add one more quip from my fabulous waxer. She said, “Tonight, after you do the Chugga Chugga you might need some hemorrhoid cream.”
I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.
All I know is that it made me laugh.
I had a hard day yesterday, controlling my anger with my kids and husband.
Sometimes I just want and need some peace and time to myself.
All of the writing, the nails, the silliness, the depths of my soul, which I wish I could make lighter, enjoy the superficial sometimes.
Yet, sometimes, what appears superficial is just me taking care of myself. And by the way I totally enjoy people’s nail photos from Instagram. BlogHer related or not.
Suddenly feeling a little insecure about the post. I knew I could make it strictly comical but they un-folded with such femininity I decided to just add it all in.
I will return to “The Waxer” I enjoyed her stories. I want to ask her more questions when I’m feeling a little braver. It takes balls to grow older, that is for sure. Just not hairy balls.
We have collaborated with Mary Trunk the director of the documentary “Lost In Living” comedians/singers Shannon Noel & Stacie Burrows of Mommy Tonk and author Amanda Hirsch to share with you our films, show, cute merchandise and books this Mother’s Day Weekend.
Expressing Motherhood is excited to present to you our latest Los Angeles show, streaming for you free all Mother’s Day Weekend.
Here is is!
You really should also watch “Lost In Living.” We had an ExMo MeetUp where we watched the film and discussed it afterwards. It’s thought provoking. The film will screen for free here at 4PM starting today, Friday.
You can go to MommyTonk and then head on over to FB to enter in their giveaways, including 2 tickets to their LA show next week.
I have been hashing over the idea of starting my own site.
Somewhere where I can talk about whatever I like without tainting ExMo with my freakiness.
But then, who needs another mom blogger?! Right?!
I’ve been on this path of simplifying for a year now. Saying no. And doing even less.
But I love to write and it makes me feel sane and sanity is obviously very good when you are a mom.
Plus, from a business stand point and Jessica and I have always, since day 1 in January 2008 treated this like we were a huge business, meaning we have run it like professionals, professionals who baked chocolate chip cookies and sold them at their shows.
Anyways, just thinking out loud here this morning.
How about you, how many blogs do you have?! I also have Fix The Toaster. But that’s very specific.
Anyways, I’m delirious from a cold and giddy because I’ve been in my pajamas for two days and sort of liking all the extra help.
Interested in your thoughts.
The National Play About Motherhood – Established in 2008