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Bouqs Flowers: Straight From The Volcano

*This is a sponsored post but all opinions are mine.

While at BlogHer I met Bouqs, a company that ships flowers from the equator by a Volcano, 10,000 feet above sea level, so exotic. As a friend explained to me these flowers last WAY longer then the ones you buy at the grocery store.

They also sell blooms from California.

They offered me a bouquet and I took them up on it. I went online and ordered a bouquet to be delivered on my son’s  birthday. Hey, I did some work getting him birthed.

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They arrived on the day I chose and voila, pretty flowers sat at my table for a looong time. They did indeed last longer then grocery store bought flowers.

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The prices are great too. $40 will get you these bad boys, called Awesome Sauce.

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I enjoyed the flowers and like the company so I agreed to write about them.

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ExMo MeetUp: Book Discussion With Author Elizabeth Esther

Join Expressing Motherhood for a book discussion with SoCal mom and author Elizabeth Esther. We will discuss her book, “Girl at the End of the World.”

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We’ll meet at Mama’s Secret Bakery & Cafe in Hollywood at 10AM on October 14th. A breakfast just for ExMo has been arranged, lots of choices and coffee, these guys know how to treat a bunch of mamas.

An intimate morning with the author. Even if you don’t anyone else coming, come!

We just had our ExMo MeetUp at the Assembly Salon in Beverly Hills and it was beyond fun. It’s always nice to get out and meet other people, share laughs and did I mention get out.

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The craziest place for me, is spending too much time alone in my head.

Here is some info on her book. Get yourself a ticket HERE.

Buy the book and we will see you on October 14th!

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Challenge Yourself to a Web Free Weekend

Carolyn Scott AKA the lovely Healthy Voyager is launching a campaign after Labor Day that is asking people to challenge themselves to a #WebFreeWeekend.

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Here is what Carolyn says:

Our lives today center so much around the internet, our various devices, sitting at our computers or even when we are out and about, we are staring at a screen. It’s rare to see people totally unplugged. Not only is this troubling for society, it’s bad for our health, not allowing us to find proper balance between work and the rest of our lives.
I’ve developed this fun site where everyone can upload/share a photo and/or video, taking the #WebFreeWeekend Pledge by either telling or showing why they are pledging or sharing a photo/video of their actual #WebFreeWeekend, of course, after the weekend has been completed!
There are no right or wrongs, just lots of fun to be had to get everyone unplugged, if even for 1 weekend, to enjoy life the way it was always meant to be enjoyed either with friends and family, outdoors or just doing something that doesn’t require the use of a device that ties us to the web.
I’ve attached the badge for people to post, tweet, etc and the link that it should point to is:  http://WebFreeWeekend.com
I like the challenge.
I would really like this actually. iPhones included.
Anyways, I’m helping spread the word as I think Carolyn is awesome and a great source of positive energy and of course food ideas.

My Elevator Partner

Today I stood in front of an elevator and thought oh shit.

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Because I am not “great” at getting into elevators.

If there are stairs, I will take them. My first blog was “I Take The Stairs.” I stood there thinking, you really need to get in that sucker and go 3 floors.

I waited until one opened and watched a man walk out I tried to assess the elevator but looked away quickly so he wouldn’t actually think I was waiting for the elevator.

If I left I knew I would blow the appointment with this psychiatrist.

I called the front desk and the nice woman whom I had made the appointment answered, “um excuse me, do you have stairs?”

Oh, unfortunately not, she replied very sweetly and immediately she read through me.

But I can come down and keep you company if you like.

I AM A LOSER.

Was what initially came to mind.

The other thought was RUN.

Fight or flight man.

Before I could answer she said, I’ll be right down.

So I’m waiting, listening to hear how long the elevator takes and the doors open and an older woman with all gray hair whom I quite easily could have mugged said, are you Lindsay?

Why yes, I am, I am the crazy person I smiled and stepped right in.

I was relieved the elevator had glass and she was so calming and told me she had done this with a few other patients.

I laughed saying, so there are other whackos here too.

Anyways, just the most ridiculous thing but it helped and she got me there.

I had my session and I asked the shrink what I have asked my counselor. Am I a broken person?

They both assured me that my darkest fears are not true. I can’t type that here (I’m writing a memoir so you can read about that under some fake name when it’s published ;)

But he assured me I am not broken. Nor am I damaged goods.

I felt better then I had in awhile. I’ve been feeling better these days.

And then I got to take the stairs down, because you can get out but you can’t get in.

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At the bottom of the stairs the door read “Open This Door.”

 

At first I thought I wish I could, I mean I could, I did. But I felt it was a sign that I am going to be OK.

That it’s a struggle but if I keep trying un-earth what I dug down for too long and continue to stop taking on so much I’ll be OK.

Life is an ass kicker but I can help alleviate some anxiety by taking certain pre-cautions and yes with the help of some anti-anxiety meds for awhile, once he talks to my cardiologist.

Anyways, that woman is awesome. She really made my day. Riding the elevator with me and causing us both some laughter.

Also, a big thanks to those of you who emailed me or commented. As always, sharing lightens the load. xo

Balancing With Weights

Today I felt better than I have in a while.

I went for a run.

Don’t do that at 3:30PM in August in Los Angeles. It was hot. I felt strong but it was too hot.

Still, I liked the red on my face. I came home and jumped on my husband’s balancing board with some light weights. I listened to “Sara” by Fleetwood Mac. I looked at my reflection in the window of my home. I was wearing a tank top that says Okoboji, a lake I grew up on in the Summer.

 

As I lifted the weights over my head feeling good, I instantly countered that, with you entitled woman you.

Other’s are suffering from anxiety but they can’t exercise. They have to work.

Fuck that.

Just let yourself feel good.

I had taken my beta-blocker and my xanax and I was feeling calm. And lately even the xanax hasn’t been helping enough so I was feeling great.

My somewhat recent diagnosis of a rapid heartbeat has recently shriveled me up into a shell of myself.

I’m scared. Really scared sometimes.

Scared I’ll die at any second.

I won’t, unless, you know I do(like if a lion escapes the LA Zoo and I attacks me while I’m there, you get my point) but it won’t be from my SVT. It’s just a scary thing but the scary thing has triggered something inside me and suddenly my coping mechanisms have collapsed this Summer.

I’m like a child.

I can’t be left too far away from my husband because I’m afraid I’ll have an anxiety attack or an SVT attack.

I’m mad at myself that perhaps somewhere I didn’t listen to my intuition and my heart is twisted in knots and I’m making myself sick.

I’m ashamed to go on anti-anxiety meds yet I’m ashamed of they way I live now.

I want to raise my kids fearless.

I was a fearless child.

Until I turned 10. Something switched. Sometimes you shut down after a bit of too much. I think that was the case of me.

This summer I honestly can say for the first time I felt mental anguish. Trapped.

I couldn’t escape my head from my fear.

After feeling so good I quickly picked up my iPhone and saw that Robin Williams had died.   They are saying it’s looking like suicide.

I know he struggled.

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I know someone like him who struggles. I mean really someone who reminds me a lot like him.

Someone who makes me laugh harder then most.

I’m not depressed and I’m not suicidal.

I’m anxious as hell and tomorrow I’m meeting with a psychiatrist to determined what type of anti-anxiety pills might help me.

I’m thankful for all of the awesome, strong moms, I know who have shared with me their own need for help with their anxiety.

Making me feel less guilty about my struggles.

I don’t know.

Just making me feeling like sharing.

Again, this is not to say I’m suicidal at all, I love life and am pretty damn perky.

I’m just struggling with some anxiety and my mind is fighting itself.

I have seen inside, just a glimpse, of the torture it must be for those of us who suffer from it.

It’s hard not to blame them, when they can cause tremendous pain and perhaps that’s my lesson from this summer. The arc in my story is changing. I need to have more empathy for those that do suffer from mental illness, even if I have fallen at the mercy of it once or twice.

 

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Getting Part of My Life Straight: Invisalign

This is a sponsored post. However, all thought and opinions are my own.

Imagine the irony of sitting in your dentist chair at 7AM about to be fitted for Invisalign and receiving an email inviting you to an Invisalign party at BlogHer.

I went to see my dentist to talk to her about my teeth which had started to move because I hadn’t been wearing my retainer. Because my dog ate it. And the one before that.

I was too embarrassed to go back and figured oh hell. So I let a few years go by and guess what, my teeth moved. Ta-da, they do that.

I also happen to be a big time night grinder, it’s in the genes.

I asked my dentist for a number to an orthodontist but she explained how she was using Invisalign now. I learned that she could fix my teeth in just 5 trays! According to Invisalign:

Setting it Straight: Invisalign effectively treats a wide variety of orthodontic issues including severe bite issues. From underbite to crossbite, deepbite to overbite and overly crowded to widely spaced, advancements to Invisalign’s patented technology continues to increase the complexity of issues that can be treated.

Fortunately I’m all good with my little over bite and I just needed some teeth moved.

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I was fitted for my Invisalign and then waited for my dentist to call me back in.

She did and I was all set with my new Invisalign. I even opted to have a few do-hickies put on my teeth to speed the process up.  I put on the Invisalign and honestly it does not hurt. It’s a little uncomfortable the first night but NOTHING compared to childbirth.

I have been worried about losing my Invisalign but according to Invisalign:

Setting it Straight: We know kids lose things, even their aligners! That’s why you get up to six FREE replacement aligners with Invisalign Teen.

Now they did say kids so I’m not sure about adults. But lucky for me my dog is older now and I’m keeping them up high when I take them off.

Here is a link that explains how Invisalign works.

I’m on my 3rd round of trays and my teeth are a shifting.

Here I am wearing them, see you can’t see them. That is my dog.

 

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If he tries to eat my face while I’m wearing them asleep that’s a whole other story.

Anyways, when I’m done I will wear a Vivera retainer from them. So as to keep my teeth in place and protect my gums and teeth from the nightly grind.

Studies show that without retainers straight teeth can gradually shift back towards their initial position. This is a common occurrence with all orthodontic treatment including braces, but is one that can easily be overcome. Ask your doctor. about Vivera retainers from the makers of Invisalign.

I honestly had never even thought of Invisalign for teenagers. I just thought wearing train tracks were a right of passage but teens can do this as well.

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Here is the link to the info graphic! And it turns out Invisalign Teen costs about the same as braces.

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So now I’m thinking maybe my kiddos will use these once they get to that age.

Enter the Straight Talk Sweepstakes for a chance to win free Invisalign treatment. Enter now through September 30th, 2014.

 

 

 

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Tips On Submissions

Submissions for the next Expressing Motherhood show will open up October 1st and close October 3rd.

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Here are some tips and requirements:

*Pieces need to be NO longer then 5 minutes when read aloud. Please read them aloud and time yourself.

*Made sure it’s your story about motherhood, not someone else’s.

*Pieces about small portions of motherhood often make very interesting pieces versus a broad “Motherhood is hard” piece.

*I’m looking for stories about motherhood. That means you don’t have to be a mom. You can be a son, a women who chooses to not have children. Etc.

Please feel free to ask more questions.

Looking forward to another Expressing Motherhood experience.

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Thoughts On BlogHer

So here are my thoughts on BlogHer and how they relate to Expressing Motherhood.

I went to socialize.

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I have never had intentions of monetizing ExMo. I didn’t go to listen to the break out sessions.

I was never a great student, especially once my anxiety kicked in during high school. I always sat by a window or the door so I could exit if I needed to.

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ExMo alum Elizabeth Jayne Liu and Michelle Villemaire

I never cared about making money off this show.

Well, that’s not true. I did for one year. After my year of trying and failing I pitched it to multiple conferences, “The Year I ho’ed Myself Out.” Basically saying I played the game, posting regularly, tweeting, etc. Nothing came of it.

Except a call at the end of the year when literally I sat at my desk almost weeping due to my son’s whooping cough (being treated) failed plans to make it to a conference I wanted to attend and also just feeling like why the fudge can’t I make money off of something that’s freaking cool and was fresh.

And more then that.

Why do I care?

Then Maria Shriver’s people emailed me and said she wanted to interview myself and Jessica tomorrow at my house and suddenly I felt good. Validated.

Within minutes of giving up on the ho’ing I got that email. I have never been one to make things easy on myself or go the normal route.

I started this show for regular people, not celebrities, not published authors. Ironically I knew I had to prove myself. I am fucking blonde for God’s sake. Well processed. And I have a successful husband. So surely he did this all for me.

I shunned social media.

I disliked and did not own an iPhone.

I shut down my personal blog in ’08.

I did the opposite I guess of what most would have done but my dad says I have done that since birth.

I have poured my heart into this show and honestly going to BlogHer I did enjoy some speakers, I loved meeting new people and I especially loved hanging with ExMo alum Michelle and Elizabeth. These people and this form of art fills my soul.

So I had to leave a room sometimes due to anxiety and also my own voice that said, “Don’t Drink The Kool-Aid.”

Meaning, there is never one path.

And the end result, if it doesn’t end in dinero, is more then OK.

They talked a lot about how blogging has changed how it will continue to change.

Is it relevant?

I don’t know exactly what was said but I know stories especially shared in the intimacy of a theatre will continue on and more importantly fulfill me.

And I don’t need to feel overwhelmed by hits, etc.

I will go to other conferences, I love the days of laughter and debauchery with fellow artistic women. Thought provoking fragments I wrestle with and cry over.

BlogHer has left me a very tired mom on this Monday.

And I thank the women who produced it for all it has conjured up.

Lisa Stone, Jory Des Jardins, Elisa Camahort Page

Photo Credit: Next Women

 

 

The National Play About Motherhood – Expanded into home DVD parties all over the world – Established in 2008